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Thursday 24 October 2013

Fire: Kane

From where I stood it looked like the flames were swallowing the house.  When Jayy was on his way back home from work he could see a bright light in the distance, as he got closer, the light turned into mighty flames, he glared in horror as his house was obliterated in front of his eyes.  He could hear the sirens of the fire trucks and he stood still as a statue as the firefighters were desperately trying to extinguish the scorching flames, As he watched his once cosy house being destroyed, he wondered what could’ve caused this massive outbreak of fire.  As the fire slowly died down as if it was mocking him, he dropped to his knees and burst into tears at the thought of having no house, again he wondered what or who caused this.  He looked around at everyone, there was one person that stood out from all the rest, his name was Peter, he lived across from me.  After Jayy had spotted him in the crowd of people he quickly rushed to his house, it looked suspicious, so he investigated.  Jayy knocked on the his door, he didn't answer.  Jayy knew he was the one responsible, I started a war with his door in and finally conquered it, his door fell to ground, I rushed inside and at first sight, he saw some jerry cans and a lot of lighters and also a picture of Jayys house and some plans.  As he read the plans, they were plans to burn Jayys house down, he had been planning this for a couple of weeks or so.  I don’t know what he had against me, maybe it was just to satisfy his needs, or maybe fire makes him feel joy. But now everything I owned is now destroyed, along with house, I have nothing left for me here.  I called my sister Jessica and said “Hey Jess, you don’t mind if I stay over your place for a bit?” silence filled the air then she said “No, not at all, stay for as long as you want” I said faintly “Thanks”.  As the day got short and sun started to fall, I said to myself, “This... is a new beginning”.

3 comments:

  1. Hi Kane,

    Your story was very interesting. Powerful words and hooks kept me in the all the way. Your story had connectives and powerful verbs. Very nice story.

    Keep up the good work
    Teagan

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hi Kane
    This story is really effective because it it has a lot of personification and you punctuation is awesome

    By Puke

    ReplyDelete
  3. Hi Kane,

    Your story is very interesting. Your story had connective and powerful verbs. And your story has powerful words.

    Keep it up

    Andre

    ReplyDelete

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